Hello everyone! You might be wondering “I haven’t received an email from Amil in so long…what happened?? Did he finally call it quits on the whole newsletter thing???” And fear not, for here I am. I had a very hectic and nomadic end of June and all of July, so I had to let some things slip through the cracks. But, I’m a bit more settled now, and I have some things I want to write about to you. And so, I’m back, but first, an update.

My June was full of frenzy. My Fulbright grant ended on June 23, I got a job offer on June 22, I traveled to the Balkans, and I got a buzz cut (and had multiple “oh shit what am I doing to my hair” freakouts during the process). My July followed suit in terms of chaos: I finished off my Balkans trip, I had a week in Zlín to cram in all my goodbyes and pack up all my stuff, I came back to New Jersey for a week, I moved down to Charlotte to start my new job, I signed the lease for an apartment, and my hair is still growing back (we’re getting there though).

I experienced a great deal of change in the past 50 days. Uncertainty about one thing turned into certainty, which then beget so many more uncertainties. I am still grappling with all this change and getting used to life here in the States, but am now learning and adjusting to my new life down here in Charlotte.

And so, I want to make this newsletter have two parts: a closure portion to my life in Zlín, and an opening to the next chapter here in Charlotte.

Thank you Zlín, for everything. When I say Zlín, I mean everyone in and around it, everyone I met there. I couldn’t have asked for a better community to be a part of, and honestly, having to leave was a gut-wrenching heartbreak that I was certainly not ready for. Saying goodbye to a place where I felt so at home, so like myself, so confident and comfortable, so me, felt like a type of heartbreak that I’ve never experienced before. I think what made it so painful was the realization that I’d never be here again in the same capacity as before. You work so hard to build a life here and integrate yourself into a community, only for you to have to suddenly up and leave it, without the proper time to digest and process what is actually happening. My daily rituals, my weekend routine, my scheduled hangouts…all turned into a “one last time.”

Goodbyes to family, goodbyes to friends, goodbyes to places…I don’t know man. I’ve experienced a good amount of change (as we all have and do as we go through life), but leaving this place, my home in Zlín, was just so unpalatable that no amount of prior goodbyes I’ve ever had to do could have prepared me for this one. It hurt in a certain way that I can’t describe – in a way that I can’t fairly articulate.

But, I’ve left. I departed Zlín on July 13, I had my week-long farewell tour where I got to see as many people as I physically could, and left my beloved town on the highest of high notes possible. Beers were drank, slivovice was cheers-ed, pictures were taken, smiles were smiled, hugs were tightly embraced, gifts were exchanged, and tears were shed. It was a very “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened” type of week, but I had to do both.

The night before I flew out, I spent about 45 minutes sitting with my thoughts by the Dřevnice, a river that flows through Zlín. I had my sad music playing, I replayed all the highs and lows in my head, and someone must have been cutting onions or something nearby I swear because I know I wasn’t tearing up on my own accord that’s certainly for sure.

Part of me feels silly for being so sappy and nostalgic for my time in the Czech Republic when my grant ended a month and a half ago. A little voice in my head keeps saying “it’s over, your time in Czech was fantastic, but we have to keep moving onward, new chapter starts now, you can’t live in the past, everyone else moved on, you have to as well.” And yes, while I agree, I think there’s nothing wrong with a bit of longing. Czech is tattooed and embedded and irremovably attached to me forever, and so to that tiny voice in my head, I say “I simply cannot ever forget, let go, or move on from the beauty I had there. I have start my next chapter here in Charlotte, but that previous one will not ever be erased from my memory.”

And so, thank you Zlín. Thank you for making me feel so loved, so respected, so capable, and so strong. I can be my own worst enemy and my biggest critic, but here, in this quaint village with trolley buses, I felt like the truest form of myself ever. I felt comfortable in my own skin, I felt confident as can be, and I felt so open to the world and to new experiences around me. My time in Zlín gave me the strength that I can move anywhere in the world and build a life there, which takes me to my next (and current) destination: Charlotte, North Carolina.

Fast forward to now: I’m in Charlotte! I moved down here on July 19, I toured apartments on July 20 (applied for a unit the same day), and I started my new job as a Senior Business Analyst with the Charlotte Hornets on July 21. It has been a whirlwind of a time. As I said before: I’ve experience a lot of change in not a lot of time.

My first few weeks in the job have been meeting all of my lovely teammates, touring the facility, learning all the internal acronyms, and trying to understand as much information as I possibly can (which there is a lot of). All this change and all these new faces and processes and ideas have been a lot to take in, but I think I’m handling it well, or at the very least, as best as I can. Considering the fact that I’m still living out of a hotel because I don’t move in to my new apartment until mid-August, I still haven’t felt like I’ve moved down here yet. I don’t yet feel settled in because I’m still somewhat living out of a suitcase in a room that is not mine. It’s hard for me to feel a sense of belonging when I’m still in a transitional period, but I think that when I do move in, get my apartment furnished, recognize some familiar faces in my building, I’ll then start to feel more at home.

One thing I catch myself doing is comparing my April, May, June Zlín self with my current Charlotte self, and those are two different people. April - June Amil was practically a Czech citizen, knew the ways around the town without needing Google Maps, and had established friendships. Charlotte Amil still doesn’t know the zip code, can’t name more than four neighborhoods here, hasn’t even been to the grocery store yet, and is just meeting people for the first time ever.

It took me time to make friendships in Zlín, but I forget that – my mind only defaults to the good times when my relationships had matured. But, as do most things, it’ll take time, and I often forget that. In the span of not too many days, I went from 100 to 0, so I have to remember that I can’t expect the same life that I had in Zlín to be here in Charlotte right away. I forget the hard parts and the time it took, and I neglect the work I put in in Zlín to form and sustain those relationships.

It’ll take time, that is normal. But if one thing’s for sure, it’s that I am going to put the work in to make this town a home for me. If Zlín taught me anything, it’s that anywhere can become your home, as long as you are open to it.

You know the drill: everything I write here is something I am actively working on improving and implementing within myself. Writing them out also helps me to visualize what to work on and how to do it. And having you as my audience holds me accountable.

If you have any thoughts, comments, or feedback, please dish it to me! I’d love to know how I can improve. I am glad to have you here on my VasaVita journey.

If you want to talk more about anything I discussed in my newsletters, or want to learn more about VasaVita, check out my website below!

See you for August’s edition!

You all know the drill: in the sprit of transparency and holding myself accountable, I include my audience count here to keep you apprised of my growth. Got some growth since June so that’s a W!
If you have any ideas or tips, please do share!