Welcome to Newsletter 1738

What is up my friends, how are we all doing? We are officially halfway done with 2025. I can’t believe how fast time is flying. I’m turning 26 this year…wtf. That is crazy – I don’t want to be 26. 26????? Years of age???? That is INSANE. Someone lmk when they figure out time travel because I’d die to have one more day of recess. Or Field Day. Or summer camp.

Now you might be thinking, “Hey Amil, this isn’t very ‘be in the present’ of you!” And to that, I’d say, “Ugh, you’re right, but can’t I just be nostalgic for a second?” And to that, I suppose you’d reply, “Yes, of course you can, but don’t let it detract you from the beauty of the current moment, because eventually this will pass too.”

Ugh!! You and your reliable, sensible, smart way of thinking!! But, that does lead me into my newsletter topic for June (+ one additional random thought piece).

And yes, I know this is the latest I’ve ever gotten a newsletter out 🙄

The “There once was a time” Time Phenomenon

There’s this trend going around on TikTok where people post their current situation and then juxtapose it with a previous time in their life, reminiscing about what they once had. They cite it as “There once was a time…” when they had all they ever wanted/could ask for, whether that be their whole family or a time when they enjoyed a certain freedom or activity. It is such a tear-jerking trend and honestly sometimes breaks me out of my doomscrolling habit because of how much emotion it evokes.

And of course, I’m scrolling through the comments while the melancholy music echoes in the background, reading random strangers expressing their condolences and sending love, when I stumble upon one person’s comment: “This made me realize that I’m currently in the ‘there once was a time’ time.”

“I’m currently in the ‘there once was a time’ time.” What a remarkably bittersweet statement. This is such a layered comment because it not only implies that you’re currently in your happy golden times, but it also assumes that there will eventually be a time when you lose this. “There once was a time” means that the time you’re referencing has now concluded, and by labelling your current moment as that “there once was a time” time, you are envisioning a future where you’re looking back on your present day self in a nostalgic and longing way. The grander implication, though, is that you believe that you’ll eventually be in the bad times.

I have 2 things to say to this.

1. I’ll keep this short and sweet because I’ve already beat this horse to death before. Enjoy the present, be present in the now, be here now, etc. This trend has me realizing how eagerly I look forward to reaching some final destination, and how I seldom stop to look out the window along the way. This sentiment permeates previous newsletters through garbled analogies and metaphors so I’ll spare you the lecture this month, but hopefully you get the gist. Some day you’ll look back on today and miss it, so bask in today’s sunshine.

2. To whom ever posted that comment, the one caveat I have is that you’re predicting upcoming worse times. I could rephrase and perhaps say less opportune times, but you’re essentially saying your future self will not be living in the present and will be relishing the past. And yes, while your future self may not have things that your current self currently has, the opposite could also be true. What I’m trying to say is that when operating with this mindset – that you’re currently living in the there once was a time time – yes, you are pausing and taking inventory of your life (good thing!); however, you are also foreshadowing a derelict future (bad thing!). So, I’d say yes, acknowledge the beauty of the present moment and realize how truly wealthy you currently are (wealthy ≠ money), but also please don’t have such a bleak outlook on your future. Having things is great and while that means you can also eventually not have those things, that doesn’t mean you ever lose anything. They’re still part of you – whatever those things may be – they are still part of you. And they always will be as long as you are drawing breath on this Earth.

One Last Thing: Pause Before You React

I was on the Subway earlier in June and as I was entering the crammed car, someone behind me pushed in so that she could also quickly get in before the doors closed. I immediately turned around and we got into a brief combative discussion: I angrily asked why the $@!# she shoved me, she shouted back at me claiming that she couldn’t get in (because of me), I challenged her statement and said I wouldn’t have let that happen, she got defensive, I responded even more defensively, some NPC in the audience made some comment (in favor of her 🙄), and I eventually calmly put an end to the exchange and apologized, and she got off on the next stop (because she didn’t want the smoke (just kidding)).

What am I getting at? I don’t like that I said, “What the %$&! why did you push me?” And regardless of who was in the right (ME, I WAS, IT WAS ME), I don’t like that I was defensive. I’ve noticed that when challenged, I get defensive rather quick. And I think the main subtext behind being defensive indicates an underlying feeling of insecurity.

I believe being defensive, and thus combative and attacking (in conversation, not physically), is a sign of insecurity. It means one doesn’t feel whole and content with one’s self, and they feel the need to prove their stance/worth/status/positioning/reasoning/being to some external source. And one (I) should feel confident enough to either a) push back respectfully and politely if one is in the right, or b) take ownership and gracefully accept fault if one is in the wrong. I should not have responded in such an annoyed manner and I shouldn’t have blindly jumped to my defense without properly assessing the scene.

TLDR: Pause before you react. Your agitated self is not your level-headed self. A defensive person is an insecure person. Accept that you will not always be in the right but challenge someone when they are in the wrong.

Thank you for listening to me!

You know the drill: everything I write here is something I am actively working on improving and implementing within myself. Writing them out also helps me to visualize what to work on and how to do it. And having you as my audience holds me accountable.

If you have any thoughts, comments, or feedback, please dish it to me! I’d love to know how I can improve. I am glad to have you here on my VasaVita journey.

If you want to talk more about anything I discussed in my newsletters, or want to learn more about VasaVita, check out my website below!

See you next (this) month!

And last but not least, the following growth check!

You all know the drill: in the sprit of transparency and holding myself accountable, I include my audience count here to keep you apprised of my growth. We got some new LinkedIn joiners in June, but no email subscribers.

Looking forward to ~hopefully~ some growth this month (in both categories)! If you have any ideas or tips, please do share!