Welcome to newsletter numero cinco!

Wassup twin, how we doing? Everyone had a good June, I hope? Watched the debate, got some sun, and enjoyed seeing the Celtics win their 18th and possibly the hardest and most well-deserved NBA title in the history of the league??? Yeah, I did too, so you could say June was pretty gre[T]at-um (get it?).

Yes, I know you all were probably stressing: “It’s almost the end of June! Where’s my VasaVita newsletter that is going to change my mindset and alter the trajectory of my decisions for months and years to come, elevating my mental framework and improving how I perceive and interact with all components of my life, all while strengthening my relationship with myself?????” Well not to fear – your VasaVita June Edition is here!

My month of June involved 3 things: Binging Ted Lasso (I have 1.5 episodes left and I am so sad), discovering and loving the song Good Days by SZA, and an insightful quote from one of my classmates (honorable mention: showing my Mom how to create an Instagram account because now she sends videos into our family group chat every day and then follows up with me in-person, “Did you watch the video I sent you?”).

This edition is going to incorporate some of the learnings from these three experiences. Now enough stalling, let’s get into it! ⚽️👍🗣

How do I be a goldfish? 🐠

In the first episode of Ted Lasso, Ted tells Sam Obisanya to “be a goldfish” after he makes a mistake on the pitch during practice. Not literally, but figuratively. I immediately loved this and started to say it to myself: when I lose a point in pickleball, when I do worse on something than I expected, when I am down on my luck. But I don’t understand how to be a goldfish. And this is something I have thought about a lot and discussed with a lot of people: I do not know how to truly change my perception of and reaction to things. All the advice and tips and guidance I get, both from people I meet and social media hopecore videos, are all helpful, but I do not know how to actually implement them.

For example, let’s say the task is to grab a mug from the cupboard and put it down the kitchen table. This is a tangible act that I can easily visualize and execute: I open the cupboard, I grab the mug, I move my arm down, I place the mug on the table, and I let go of the mug. Easy, peasy, lemon-squeezy. But for an action like “being a goldfish,” how do I simply “forget and let go?” When I make a mistake, how do I truly look past it and keep my head up? When someone wrongs me, like how a certain someone did to Ted Lasso (don’t worry, I won’t spoil), how do I train myself to not be upset and to truly forgive? How do I know I am not just suppressing my actual feelings?

Do you see what I mean? And this is not a rhetorical question where you “keep reading to find out the answer!,” I genuinely have no clue how to do this. I am trying and will continue to try, but I don’t know. Maybe it is a combination of “fake it ‘til you make it,” maybe it’s a little bit of ups and downs, or maybe it’s something that I’ll never truly master but can’t give up trying to do.

As badly as I want to be Ted Lasso, I never will be. But I can learn from him and try to emulate his mindset: such as his ability to quickly forgive and forget, and to not view the victories of others as defeats for himself, and to not be so concerned with wins and losses.

I know I am yapping all about Ted Lasso now so I’ll move on, but I will end this section with this: maybe I’ll never be a goldfish, but maybe the point is not to be a goldfish, but to remember to be one. Perhaps the goal is to not actually forget and ignore the error I made on the pitch, but actually to pick myself up, recognize the area for improvement, and move on because the clock does not stop in soccer and there are still 89 minutes left in the match.

Or, maybe I am just overthinking this and I should just keep playing and stop with all these sport metaphors and aquatic analogies.

“Feel the water” 💧

Do you ever feel like your eyes are open and are seeing everything around you, but afterwards, you forget everything that you just saw? Or that a moment you are looking forward to so much just comes and goes all of a sudden and you are like, “Wait, that’s it? It’s already over?”

If not, then please teach me your ways. Because I do, and I’m not quite sure why. I feel like I am always living my life in anticipation of what is happening next: in the next hour, next day, next week. I have busy evening plans? Well then I need to get to work now and finish everything so that I can enjoy my night. And then the night comes and goes. Going on vacation tomorrow? Well then I need to buckle down today and power through so that I have everything set for my trip. And then the vacation comes and goes and I’m right back to where I was before.

How do I make time slow down so that I can truly experience the moment?

I have recently started to bike and swim more, and I was asking my classmate for tips on swimming (this guy swam at the 2016 Olympics, he’s so fast it’s wild), and he gave me a tip that interestingly relates to this phenomenon. He said to “feel the water.” Now, for him, this was just a swimming tip, but to me, I took so much more from this than he probably realizes.

I hate swimming. It is so painful and honestly scares me sometimes. I can’t hear anything, water gets in my goggles making my vision so blurry, I can’t talk, I can’t breathe: it’s very lonely and isolating. But my classmate’s quote, to feel the water, helped me realize something. For some reason, it helped me open my eyes and truly see.

“Feel the water.” Yes, I am swimming right now and it hurts and sucks, but just feel the water. Feel the flow of the mini waves, notice the patterns on the pool floor, listen to the sounds of the splashes my arms make. I’m still going to have to finish the swim and it is still going to suck, but this quote is helping me to realize that even during the times I am stressed, during the moment when my heart is beating so fast and I am exhausted to my core, during the times when I feel like time is either flying by or is moving at the pace of a snail, it all will eventually pass. This experience will eventually be over. So, whether it is a good or bad one, open your eyes and truly see and feel it. Don’t forget the emotions felt and the sounds heard and the smells smelt. Feel the water, open your eyes, notice what is around you. Remember it all.

Not to flood this edition (get it?) with marine maxims and water wisdom, but I found this notion to be very helpful and comforting, and I hope you do too!

Note: The irony is not lost on me that the first part of this newsletter is me telling you to forgive and forget and move on, and then the second part is me telling you to remember everything you experienced and felt.
But hopefully the difference between these two notions is apparent and what I am trying to say/what I mean is getting across.
If not, then be a goldfish and forget you read this June edition.

Oh wow, that was a long one! Thanks for reading all the way until the end. I appreciate you fam ✊

As I have mentioned, all the tips, notions, thought processes, etc. that I put in here are things I am actively working on improving and implementing within myself. Writing them out also helps me to visualize what to work on and how to do it.

If you have any thoughts, comments, or feedback, please dish it to me! I’d love to know how I can improve. I am glad to have you here on my VasaVita journey.

If you want to talk more about anything I discussed in my newsletters, or want to learn more about VasaVita’s services, story, and goals, check out my website below!

See you in July! And remember, be a goldfish!

And last but not least, the following growth check!

You all know the drill now: in the sprit of transparency and holding myself accountable, I include my audience count here to keep you apprised on my growth. We got some newcomers in June so let’s give them a warm, VasaVita welcome!

Looking forward to ~hopefully~ more growth in July! If you have any ideas or tips, feel free to share!